


Almost Winter

by tangerinecoffee



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Free Verse, M/M, namsong - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-10-20 22:44:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10672299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangerinecoffee/pseuds/tangerinecoffee
Summary: A collection of free verses.





	1. If the universe was kinder

**Author's Note:**

> It's going to be random tbh, I make verses when I suddenly feel like it -- during queues or when I'm in the shower, or during my shift as a librarian in the university I am in -- yeah you get the idea lol. 
> 
> It's mostly gonna be sentimental though 

 

 

 

 

If the universe was kinder, Taehyun would still wake up feeling Minho's steady heartbeat under the palm of his hand. He would look up, admire Minho's tussled hair, and watch him slowly open his still heavy eyes.

 

If the universe was more forgiving, Minho would still breathe in the calmness that was Taehyun's scent. He would smile, even if his shoulder was numb, as Taehyun stared at him in awe, like he was still dreaming, and Minho would slowly let the tips of their noses touch.

 

If the universe wanted them to be happy, they would still kiss languidly in the stolen moments of late midnights and early dawns. They would still try to stretch the short minutes of solitude, lost in each other's embrace, basking in each other's warmth, forgetting, if only fleetingly, the consequences of their nows, and instead try to make the beautiful memories last.

 

If the universe wasn't horrid, it will let Minho and Taehyun battle against its crooked decision that love, in order to be true, should be hard to keep.

 

 

 

 


	2. First Lie

 

 

When Minho thinks of late night stargazings on old rooftops, he doesn't think of Taehyun's sudden ramblings and confessions, or of their eyes meeting and speaking in their own language, or of them stumbling back to his room, bodies pressing too close. 

 

When Minho thinks of rainy mornings and cold coffees, he doesn't think of Taehyun lying on his bed, whispering a good morning, or of fingers treading through his hair, cupping the nape of his neck, or of them rolling around the blankets, smiling like fools.

 

When Minho thinks of Taehyun, he convinces himself that stargazings and old rooftops and rainy mornings and cold coffees are nothing more than memories that should be forgotten.

 

 


	3. Second Lie

 

 

Taehyun sees Minho in the blinding lights of the bar he sings at, remembers the way Minho dances, asking him if he's having fun.

He sees him in the cold drink his hands are gripping tightly, remembers the way Minho chuckles, telling him they should go out more often.

As he walks home, Taehyun sees him in the blurry lamp posts lining the street, remembers the way Minho staggers, cajoling him that he isn't drunk.

As he sits on his couch, Taehyun sees him in the glinting moonrays, remembers Minho's sleeping face, remembers the way his nose scrunches, making Taehyun's heart thump faster.

As he lays on his bed, closes his eyes, Taehyun sees Minho in the back of his eyelids, remembers the way Minho laughs, remembers the way Minho holds his hand, remembers the way Minho looks at him.

As he stays awake, staring blankly at his ceiling, Taehyun remembers the promises they made when they were still too naive to believe.

Taehyun hates remembering.  
  


 

 


	4. Let's play pretend

 

 

Let's play pretend.

I'll pretend I never met you.

Pretend I never loved you.

Pretend I'm not hurting.

Pretend everything is okay. 

 

Please. 

Make this easier.

And pretend with me.

 

 


	5. Fate, even if it's cruel

 

 

If it's fate, it won't matter.

Even if it's in two, five, ten, twenty years. 

If it's fate, we'll meet again.

I wish we'll meet again.

I know we'll meet again. 

Because what we had, was too precious for fate to just let it go to waste. 

When we're older, more mature.

When we already know what matters most -- and when we're ready to fight for this. 

To fight for us. 

 

I'll look for you. 

And I know I'll find you. 

Because fate -- even if it's cruel now -- is already written. 

And it knows, that we're meant to be together. 

Maybe not now. 

But I'm sure, we'll meet again.

 

 


	6. Happy

 

You're happy - 

And I'm glad you are.

It made all this pain worth it.

 

You're happy - 

And I hope it's real. 

 


	7. How will we meet?

 

I can't help but wonder,

If we didn't meet that summer -

How will we meet? 

 

Will I meet you at six years old - 

   splashing puddles after a rainstorm, 

   innocent, skipping with the boundless sky?

Will I meet you at ten - 

   dancing in the rain,

   naive, frolicking in the clouds' tears?

Will I meet you at sixteen -

   strumming your guitar,

   mysterious, glowing in the late afternoon 

         sunshine? 

Will I meet you at twenty-four - 

   shouting by the riverbanks,

   frustrated, crying in the midst of the cold

         winds in early September? 

Will I meet you at thirty, 

    regretting over your first love that you didn't

          fight for,

   unhappy, going over the almosts that you'll

          never be able to turn to reality? 

 

Will I meet you at all?

 

But even through all these, 

     we did meet, didn't we? 

& I fell in love with you.

& I think I'll still do -

No matter how we meet -

Or even if we don't at all.

 


	8. Right?

 

 

You're gone.

And I don't have the right to want you back.

 

You're starting over again. 

Because it's the only thing left to do anyway, right? 

 

I understand just how much you want me gone from your life. 

 

How you want to erase that little hope both of us are still aware of.

 

Because I think of the same things too. 

 

You're also blaming yourself. 

 

For not trying one more time.

For not seeing us through to the end.

 

Right?

 

 

 


	9. Tomorrow

 

 

I want to wake up tomorrow, and forget about you - 

 

The planes of your back.

The crook of your neck.

The bridge of your nose.

 

I want to bury it all - wake up to a morning like the ones I had before I met you. 

 

I want to wake up tomorrow, without you in my thoughts, without you clouding my mind - 

 

I want to wake up tomorrow, and not be scared of remembering you.

 

 


	10. Before You

 

Who was I before you?

 

Before gravity pulled us together and I willingly forgot what we're supposed to be - 

 

Who was I before you? 

 

Before society told us we cannot be and I succumbed to your dangers -

 

Who was I before you?

 

Before I let myself drown and it was too late to realize we're both losing ourselves - 

 

Who was I before you?

 


	11. Maybe

 

Maybe I'll call you tonight, hear your voice, regret everything, hurt all over again.

 

Maybe I'll even ask you to meet me, not to try and work anything out, but to finally, finally just let go, beg you to do the same.

 

Maybe I'll cry again, ask you another what if - no - maybe I'll keep my mouth and show you I actually don't care anymore.

 

Maybe you'll see through my lie and hug me - not asking for another chance but telling me you'll love me anyway.

 

Or maybe you'll really see through me, and act like you don't give a damn too.

 

And we'll part ways, pretend we're not tired of being sad.

 

But we know we are.

 


	12. I was once a part of it.

 

 

If letting you go means gifting you happiness - I'll let you go. 

If you can promise me you'll fly higher without me - I'll help you fly.

If this is what it takes to protect that smile - I'll leave you alone. 

 

Just please never forget. 

That even if I'm not your forever - 

I was once a part of it.

 

 


	13. Memories

 

 

You know what hurts the most? 

 

Our memories. 

 

But do you know what makes me smile as well?

 

Our memories.

 

 

 


	14. Five Years Ago

 

 

I remembered they asked me what I want to be five years from now. 

 

And because I've loved, been hurt and was wise, I answered:

 

"Happy," 

 

I even smiled while saying it. "I want to be happy."

 

Now, as I imagine you looking at the same moon we're both under, unsure of what our five years will be from now, you asked me:

 

"What do you want to be five years from now?"

 

And I still smiled as I catch a glimpse of a shooting star from the corner of my eyes and said (wished): "With you." 

 

And I know you're smiling too. "I want to be with you."

 

 


	15. I'm not much of a poet but --

 

 

 

I'm not much of a poet but --

 

If I ask you to ran away with me... Would you? 

If I ask you to leave everything, start anew -- where no one would be able to realize who we were... Would you?

 

I want to (dying to) just show up in your front door, give you this questions... But -- what would you do?

 

I know it's stupid -- foolish, because of where we are now but --

 

What if we're not living the lives we are now?

 

If we met as kids in our local kindergarten -- if we grew up together, or even if we just casually bump onto each other as adults and fell in love (like what we still did despite everything)...

 

Would this be easier? 

 

I'm being too much, right? 

 

I'm sorry. I just... I just can't help but imagine a world where I can wake up next to you and not wonder how long it'll last.

 

Where I can take you out on dates without prying eyes following us.

 

Where I can freely call you mine.

 

I wish it wasn't this hard to love you.

 

 

 


	16. ... though

 

 

 

I learned to ignore your existence just so I could convince myself that I'm over you.

 

Over your promises. 

Over our lost chances.

Over us.

 

But if I'm really over you, I wonder why my thoughts still linger in our yesterdays. Why they stay there, unbothered as fragments of what we were supposed to be crippled me.

 

Our used-to-bes. 

 

I used to be yours.

You used to be mine.

It was supposed to be me and you against the world (and I know you'll say it sounds stupid but you promised me this so please remember). 

 

But I guess I wasn't important enough for you to keep on fighting. 

 

Was I not enough? 

Was it all just an illusion?

Was there actually nothing to protect in the first place? 

 

Was I the only one willing to do everything for this "love" I thought both of us feel? 

 

 

Ah, on second thought don't answer that. I don't think I will be able to handle what you'll say. 

 

It still hurts me though. 

 

 

 

 


	17. You...never intended to stay.

 

 

 

You...never intended to stay. 

     They kept on making it clear to me,

     kept on making me doubt if

     what we had -- was real. 

     (Like they know a thing.)

     

But still... Was it? I don't know.

     What I do know is that what I felt was real & in the short time I had you -- you never gave me room to second guess what you felt -- about me, about us.

 

From the very beginning --

I knew that --

 

You never intended to stay.

     Because you were born free & reckless & the more you're told what must be, the more you wanted to do the opposite 

     & I loved even that part of you

     & I always will.

 

You never intended to stay 

& I never intended to tie you down.

 

Because that's what loving is,

& I'll never intend to forget that.

 

 

 


End file.
